There was a little boy whose name was Keith
He had an iron stomach and very sharp teeth

He had a hardy appetite that he did not hide
He liked to eat…and ate EVERYTHING FRIED

When his meals were dripping with grease, he beamed
He wouldn’t touch a morsel if it was boiled or steamed

He gobbled fried pickles and chocolate and raisins too…
fried avocado and even fried stew

Keith drank fried lemonade and ate crunchy fried watermelon
He’d walk in a diner an ask, “What soup are you selling?”

If the soup wasn’t fried,
You could hear Keith yelling

…cause soup that’s not fried is just not worth selling

Keith’s best friend, Charlie said, “I’m worried you’ll get sick”
So Keith fried up Charlie and ate him on a stick

Charlie tasted like chicken, a fried lover’s delight
What he did next may give you a fright

He fried up his mom and fried up his pop, he fried up his parrot
He just couldn’t stop

Keith had eaten his loved ones and endangered his health
But he was still hungry, so he looked at himself

He deep fried his fingers and stir fried his toes
With his digits all gone he moved to his nose

He batter fried his nostrils and gobbled his eyes
and ate it all with a basket of fries

He fried up his calves, his thighs, belly and chest
Releasing a burp, he fried up the rest

There wasn’t much left after the feast
Just pots and pans that were dripping with grease

On the floor lay some bones that had belonged to Keith
Along with a rattling set of the little boy’s teeth

Read my poems for your bratty kids.